| [..who i am..] |
|---|
| I am trying to be the best husband to Jessica and father to Connor I can possibly be. In the daytime (and after they go to sleep) I am the Innovative Creative Arts Pastor at Powell Church in Knoxville, TN. I love songwriting, creating stupid videos, apple computers, and pie. |
| [..blogs that i read..] |
| journey to claire |
| real live preacher |
| bill wolf |
| cult of mac |
| adam mayfield |
| bob carlton |
| adam feldman |
| futility closet |
| jeph hurst |
| jason edelen |
| jon reid |
| church marketing sucks |
| kem meyer |
| anthony coppedge |
| betsy wolf |
| mark nelson |
| multi-site arts |
| [..graphic & video resources..] |
| sxc.hu |
| igniter media |
| sermon spice |
| highway video |
| worship house |
| digital juice |
| church marketing lab |
| [..music & artists..] |
| gregadkinsmusic.com |
| greg on Myspace |
| new city cafe |
| bill mallonee |
| the innocence mission |
| andrew peterson |
| andrew osenga |
| over the rhine |
| nickel creek |
| david wilcox |
| rich mullins |
| hem |
| andy gullahorn |
| jill phillips |
| arthur alligood |
| dave potts |
| [..my so called music career..] |
|
| [..52 songs in 52 weeks..] |
|
| [..where i serve..] |
| powell church |
| [..disclaimer..] |
| I am on staff at Powell Church in Knoxville, TN but the opinions, thoughts, comments, and humor on this page are solely my own. Wade in at your own risk and be warned, I'm a bit of a goofball. |
| [..my site feed..] |
| RSS |
| [..archive..] |
I Know What You're Thinking...
I stood in my garage this morning looking at 1000 copies of my new CD and was once again filled with that overwhelming feeling of "What now???". Two years of writing songs... two years of saving money from CD sales and love offerings... 13 drives to Asheville and back to record the record... countless hours spent listening to rough mixes, coming up with parts, and obsessing over every small detail... and now, finally, it's all finished. 1050 (to be exact) shiny shrink wrapped copies of "Chase the Western Sky" are conveniently packed into 35 cardboard boxes of 30 CDs each and are lining a wall in my garage. What now?Trust me... I have every reason in the world to panic. I'm too old to be cool anymore. There are no venues for people who play the kind of music I play. Compared to my peers, I have marginal ability on the instruments I play. I'm too chubby to be a rock star. I don't live in Nashville so I can't really pursue having my songs published and recorded by others. I'm not quite Christian enough for some churches. I'm too Christian to play in bars. Oh yeah, and just this week, about 1000 other guys with guitars put out a new CD. Next week another thousand will release CDs and on and on it goes. Not to mention the fact that most of those 1000 people actually have the time and energy to go out and promote their music, play shows 7 days a week, and spend countless hours trying to book shows... meanwhile, I barely have any time to do any of those things and must rely entirely on word of mouth. If you're wondering if I ever get discouraged, you bet I do.
And that's the funny thing about a calling. When you're called to something, you have to do it. You cannot not do it. Even when the odds are stacked against you... even when no one is listening... even when your own friends don't support you... you do it anyway. I can't explain to you why I do this... I just have to.
I wrote songs for 5 or 6 years and I was in all honesty one of the most horrible songwriters you ever heard. There isn't one of those early songs I would even consider playing today. Seriously. They were awful. But one day, and I cannot explain this, it was like a switch was thrown and all of a sudden, I started writing good songs. I don't say that egotistically... but compared to what I had been writing for 5 years, these songs were a big improvement! And they kept coming... and coming... and they continue to come even still. It's a slower pace these days with a family and a great job keeping me busy, but in unexpected moments, they come. I believed it then and I believe it now that I have absolutely nothing to do with the process. These songs are gifts from God. I told him 4 years ago that as long as he gave me the songs, I would try to be faithful with them... to send them out into the world as best I could... to never see this gift as my own and to never put it before Him or my family. While I confess some struggles with this, for the most part, He has given me the strength to be faithful.
And it's because of that promise I made to God that I can stand before a stack of 1000 CDs and not feel afraid. If they sell, great. I hope they're a blessing to someone somewhere. I hope they speak truth and that the truth still matters. But if they don't sell and I'm stuck with them forever, that's okay too. I didn't go in debt to make them and they make great beverage coasters and windshield ice scrapers (really, try that sometime with a CD case!). Connor also likes to set them up like dominoes and knock them down. :)
4 Comments
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at 12:06 PM
Jamie said... 1. Great thoughts, stay encouraged!
2. "Too Chubby To Be A Rock Star" should be your next song.
3. Even the "Talkin' Monster Hardee's Burger Blues" song was a gift from God? :-)
4. I just kept forgetting, but I'm going now to order the CD. Can't wait to hear it.-
at 12:43 PM
bill said...
well said, man.
speaking of boxes of cds...i've got a few left of Majesty and Meekness. if you ever want to package that in a three-for-one with stuff let me know.
by the way, did you know Dylan has a song called, "Talkin' Hava Negeilah Blues"? HEY! that might one up your 'Thickburger' song.-
at 2:45 AM
angela said...
I love your attitude and your humility! Keep it up!
PS - can't wait to hear you on Wednesday!-
at 12:59 PM
Jeff said...
Have you sent my autographed CD yet? No hurry, as we probably won't be back in town for a couple of weeks.
